Random Events
by LariaKaiba
Summary: Last time on Random Events: Seto sent them to fix Kaiba Corp., Bakura sent them to the Shadow Realm, and they sent Andrew Yani to the Funny Farm.
1. What is this a Musical?

**---Ok, so this is the third time I've brought back Random Events. I promise I won't delete it this time. **

**I keep forgetting how much I love this story.**

**Some notes: Italic typing is singing, Bold typing is the Authoress talking.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh, or any of the songs in this fic. **

**Enjoy!---**

**Random Events  
By: Laria Kaiba**

**Chapter One:  
What is this a Musical?**

Yugi Motou sat under a tree at the park. His yami had climbed the tree and was now going to test his balance by standing on one of the branches. Of course, the former-pharaohs balance was not as good as it used to be, whether it was good back in Ancient Egypt or not. Therefore, this little incident resulted in him falling out of the tree and to the ground. Yugi looked over at Atemu.

"Are you ok?" asked Yugi, but Atemu did not reply, he just stood up and started singing.

"_Give my regards to Broadway! Remember me in Old Time Square!_"

"What is this? A musical!" Yugi asked shocked, then listened to the words his yami was singing. "I don't think you're singing that right."

"Neither do I." Atemu stopped singing and sat down next to his lighter half.

"I think falling out of that tree knocked out what sanity you had left."

"Ya think?"

"Sometimes I worry about you, yami." Yugi sighed.

"So what do you want to do now?" asked Atemu.

"I don't know."

So the two sat and contemplated.

"Contemplated?" asked Atemu glancing up at the Authoress. "Do you even know what that means?"

"No, I think the question is, does she even know how to spell it," commented Yugi.

**Fine, I won't use 'contemplated'**. They sat trying to think of something to do, when Yani ran by followed by Laria.

"Yani!" Laria screamed. "Bring back my ice cream!"

Laria ran after her dark side, but then she spotted Yugi and Atemu and stopped.

"Hey, short stuff."

"Hello," Yugi said bitterly glaring up at Laria.

"I thought you weren't going to be in this story," said Atemu.

"I'm not, I'm just going to be up there writing." Laria pointed toward the sky.

"Then why are you here?"

"I wanted my ice cream, Yani took it." Laria whined, "I'll get back to the story later."

"This is the story!"

"But if I'm here, who's writing the story!" Laria exclaimed.

Yugi and Atemu shrugged. **HA! You will never get me!**

"Want to bet!" Laria growled to who ever had taken over the story and ran off.

"That was weird."

Just then, Malik and his yami walked past. Malik was singing this time.

"_Red, red, Wine, stay close to me, don't let me be alone!_"

"Why do you have to torment me like this?" muttered Marik.

"What? I like that song," Malik pouted.

"Well I don't care. Stop singing!"

"_Red, red, wine!_" Malik sang loudly, "_Stay close to me! DON'T LET ME BE ALONE!_"

At the tree Yugi and Atemu looked at each other then got up and walked over to the

Egyptian pair.

"Hey, what's all the yelling about?" asked Atemu.

"My Omote is trying to annoy me to death," sighed Marik, while Malik grinned

innocently.

"But you can't die, Ishtar," Atemu said, "You should know that."

"I do know that you insolent Pharaoh!" growled Marik.

"You shouldn't talk me to like that," Atemu said pompously, "I'm royal."

"Yeah a royal pain in my—"

"Alright, that's enough," Malik interrupted.

"No kidding," added Yugi, "Can't you two get along for five minutes."

"NO!"

"Anyways, why would I listen to you runt?" asked Marik.

"Don't call my Aibou a runt!" glared Atemu.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm pharaoh and you should listen to me."

"Correction," smirked Marik, "You WERE pharaoh. You're nothing but a washed-up-has-been now."

"I'll give you washed-up-has-been!"

Meanwhile, at the same time the yamis were fighting.

"So..." Malik said to Yugi, "Want to go to the mall?"

"Why not?"

So...

Yugi and Malik went to the mall, followed by Marik and Atemu, who were still arguing. However, when they got there they were met with one of Laria's Authoress powers, the power of song and dance...

"_Ohhhhhhhh_!" Sang the shoppers of the mall. "_There's nothing half way about the Iowa way to treat you, when we treat, which we my not do at all. There's an Iowa kind of special chip-on-the-should attitude we've never been with out that we recall. We can be cold as a falling thermometer in December if you ask about our weather in July. And we're so bay god stubborn we can stand touching noises for a week at a time and never see eye to eye. But what the heck your welcome, join us at the picnic, you can have the fill of all the food you bring your self. You really ought to give Iowa a try!_"

The four stood in shock and awe as the people of the mall went back to their shopping as soon as the song was over, as if nothing happened.

"She's lost it," Marik muttered looking up to the Authoress.

"No, she's just been watching The Music Man again," said Ryou.

"That explains the 'Iowa Stubborn'," said Yugi.

"Wait!" Malik blinked at Ryou and Bakura, "When'd you get here?"

"During the song," shrugged Ryou.

"I was going to scare Pharaoh but the song didn't last long enough." Bakura pouted.

"Long enough!" exclaimed Marik, "It was too long if you ask me."

"Well no one asked you!"

"_We can be cold as a—_"

"Cut it out!" yelled Bakura, smacking Atemu, who had been singing.

"I can't help it," whined Atemu, rubbing his cheek, "It's catchy."

"Well stop or the runt gets it," Marik said before he realized that Yugi was not there. "Where'd he go?"

Little did the yamis know their lighter halves had left them at the mall.

"They left us here!" exclaimed Bakura, "At the mall!"

"Well there's a good side to this," grinned Atemu.

"And that would be?" asked Marik.

"Food Court."

"Did you ever think for a second in that peanut sized brain of yours, the little fact that WE HAVE NO MONEY!"

Atemu paused for a moment

"... No."

Marik and Bakura rolled their eyes.

"What!" asked Atemu, "Can't we use the Rod?"

"Do you see the Rod on me?"

"...No." Atemu said after another pause.

"Now what baka Pharaoh?"

"We go home."

"Oh, now why didn't we think of that?" Marik asked Bakura sarcastically.

"Cause Atemu's stupidity is contagious," smirked Bakura.

Atemu glared at them as they laughed. Then he decided that this was the prefect time to run and that is what he did. Atemu left the other yamis behind. Said yamis stopped laughing, looked at each other and took off after the pharaoh.

**---Screw the rules! I have green hair!---**


	2. The Madness Continues

**---So my Mac is sick and in the shop now. I'm an idiot and haven't backed up my files in... well, never backed up any of the files on Maccy. I only have what I could rape of my home computer to put onto Maccy when I got it over a year ago. **

**Which means if they can't retrieve my info... I'll lose all the stuff I've written since last June. **

**I are sad. ---**

**Chapter Two**

**The Madness Continues**

Last time on Random Events: Atemu fell out of a tree, singing has taken over, and the yamis were left at the mall.

Meanwhile, Yugi and Malik crashed at Ryou's—

"Why does everyone have to come to my house?" Ryou asked, looking up at the Authoress.

**They love you**. Ryou gave Yugi and Malik dirty looks. **Not that way!**

"Good."

Yugi, Malik and Ryou were sitting about doing nothing for there was nothing to do.

"Ever heard of '_Grammar Check'_?" Malik asked the Authoress.

**Shut up!** With that, Ryou got up and busted out in song.

"_The only one for me is you and you for me, no matter how they toss the dice, it's meant to be, the only one for you is me and me for you, so happy together_." Ryou straddled Malik's hips and threw his arms around the blonde's neck. "_I can't see me loving nobody but you for all my life!_"

Malik pushed Ryou out of his lap and onto the floor. Ryou '_oofed_' as he fell.

"Ok, I get the point." Malik muttered glaring up at the Authoress.

**Ok, Moving on.** There had to be something for the teens to do, if only they could think of it.

"How about we go to the park," offered Ryou.

"Malik and I were just at the park," said Yugi.

"Weren't you just at the mall though?"

"We were at the park before the mall."

"Oh, well we could—"

However, what they could do they never found out because at that moment Atemu jumped though the window.

"I have a door." Ryou told the Authoress.

**So?** Atemu jumped though the window.

"HIDE ME!" Atemu screamed looking scared.

"What's wrong with you Pharaoh?" asked Malik.

"Marik and Bakura." Atemu exclaimed. "I left them at the mall!"

"Well, where are they now?"

Where _ARE_ they now...

"I'm bored," sighed Malik, "let's go find Atemu."

"Ok"

Back with Atemu and the hikaris.

"What are we a band now?" Yugi asked the Authoress.

**Would you like to be?**

"I think it would be fun." Grinned Atemu.

"NO!" exclaimed Malik, Yugi, and Ryou simultaneously.

**Oh, do not worry... I am going to use my powers of song and dance on another victim. **

"Who?" asked Malik fearfully.

**Oh, who will find out, just get the other yamis and go to a public location.**

"I don't like the sound of this." Atemu said grimly.

"Me neither." Ryou agreed.

**Well I do not care if you like it or not this is my story**. So the four went to go find the other yamis.

_Meanwhile..._

The other two yamis were walking around looking for pharaoh.

"I'm hungry," Bakura said randomly.

"You're always hungry." Sighed Marik.

"Point?" asked Bakura, Marik rolled his eyes. "Let's find somewhere to eat."

"But you don't have any money and I don't have the Rod."

Bakura pulled a wallet out of his pocket.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Some old guy at the mall." Bakura shrugged.

"So where to now?"

They looked around at the restaurants that had mysteriously appeared there.

"Well there's, Mc Donald's, Pizza Hut... Taco Bell."

"_Feliz Navidad_," Malik sang spontaneously "_Feliz Navidad, I wanna wish you a merry Christmas, I wanna wish you a merry Christmas from the bottom of my he—_"

"CUT IT OUT!" Bakura screamed covering Marik's mouth, glaring up at the Authoress. "Stop the singing madness, baka!"

**Baka? Ooo you will live to regret those words**. Bakura and Marik went to Taco Bell, where they met up with Atemu and the hikaris.

"Alright, whose idea was it to leave us at the mall?" asked Bakura angrily when he saw the hikaris. Yugi pointed to Ryou and Malik. Ryou pointed to Malik and Yugi. Malik pointed to Ryou and Atemu.

"Wait! I didn't mean to point to Atemu!"

"Ok, Ryou got the most votes," Marik smirked. Bakura glared at his light, who took a step back.

"Where's you're big plan?" Ryou asked, looking frightfully up at the Authoress.

**Oh, right!** Bakura climbed up on a table and started to sing.

"_Be... our... guest! Be out guest! Put our service to the test, tie a napkin round your neck, Cherie, and we prove the rest. Soup du jour! Hot d'oeuvres! Why we only live to serve! Try the grey stuff_."

"_It's delicious!_" Yugi sang along.

"_Don't believe me ask the dishes!"_ Bakura continued,_ "They can sing! They can dance! After all, miss, this is France! And the dinner here is never second be—_"

At this point Marik were fed up with the singing and pushed Bakura off the table.

"STOP WITH ALL THE SINGING!"

**You guys love singing so much.**

"No we don't." Bakura grumbled getting up off the floor.

"I do."

Everyone looked at Atemu.

"What!"

**Atemu, you are a hopeless cause. You weren't like this when you were pharaoh were you?**

"Nope, I was sane back in Ancient Egypt."

**Really? What happened?**

"Solitary confinement for five millennia."

**Oh.**

"Well now that we solved that, can we move on?" asked Malik.

**I cannot think of anything else to write.**

"Then I say we take a break," said Bakura.

**Ok, five-minute break.**

---(--)---

"I thought you said break!"

Ryou and Laria were now in another part of the story.

"You can have your break after you say the line."

"Oh fine," Ryou said "And now its time for love songs with Yani, the part of the story where Yani comes out to sing... a love song."

Yani came out and sang... a love song.

"_He said to her 'I'd like a cheeseburger_

_And I might like a milk shake as well'_

_She said to him 'I can't give you either'_

_He said 'isn't this Burger Bell?'_

_She said 'yes it is, but we're closed now,_

_But we open tomorrow at ten'_

_He said 'I am extremely hungry_

_But I guess I can wait until then!'_

_Cause you're his cheeseburger_

_His precious cheeseburger!_

_He will wait for you_

_Yes, he'll wait for you-ou!_

_Cause you're his cheeseburger_

_His tasty cheeseburger!_

_Oh he will wait for you..._

_Because he loves you cheeseburger with all his heart_

_And there ain't going to tear you to-o apart_

_And if the world ran out of all his cheese_

_He would get down on his hands and knees _

_Because someone accidentally dropped some cheese in the dirt_

_And he will wash it off for you_

_Wash it off for you_

_Clean that dirty cheese off just for YOU!_

_You... are... his... cheese... bur... ger!!_"

**---Yu-gi-Oh's! Apparently they're Yugi-licious!---**


	3. Hit and Run!

**---Well, my Mac died and I've lost everything I've done for the past year. Luckily I saved most of my stories before it committed suicide. ---**

**Chapter Three:   
Hit and Run!**

Last time on Random Events: Ryou sang to Malik, Bakura sang to the people of Taco Bell, and Yani sang to a cheeseburger.

After the break, everyone crashed at Ryou's house... again.

"Why is there nothing to do around here?" Bakura asked irritably.

"We could always go torment Kaiba," said Atemu.

"Great idea Pharaoh." Marik said sarcastically.

"Of course!" Atemu grinned. "Atemu knows all."

"It wasn't that great."

Atemu glared at Marik and bashed him in the head with the Millennium Rod.

"Ow!" Marik rubbed the spot where he was hit. "Hey! That's my Rod!"

Atemu smiled and waved the Rod in front of Marik. He reached out to grab it but Atemu pulled it out of reach and stuck his tongue out at the blond Egyptian. Malik came up behind Atemu and took the Rod from him.

"Ok, can everyone stop touching my Rod?" Malik growled.

"Can I still touch your Rod?" asked Marik.

"I guess," Malik sighed, "As long as you're careful with it."

**Ok, this is starting to sound sick.**

"I'm not talking about THAT Rod!" Malik said appalled, looking up at the seemingly sick-minded Authoress.

**I know but it sounds like you could be, we will have enough of that conversation. Now, who wants to go torment Seto?**

"I think we all do," said Yugi, with agreeing nods from everyone else.

Soooo... Everyone headed toward Kaiba Corp.

"_We're off to see the wizard!_" sang Atemu, "_The wonderful wizard of—_"

"SHUT IT!" Bakura screamed.

"Jeez Bakura," pouted Atemu, "It's just a song."

"You guys are driving me crazy with all your songs."

"No need to worry about that Baku-chan," Marik said comfortingly, "You're already crazy."

"Shut up or I'll break your Rod." Bakura smirked, "And I'm not talking about your Millennium one."

Marik stopped dead in his tracks, covering himself fearfully.

**Guys that is enough.**

"No!" cried Marik and Bakura.

**Dare you defy me? You will live to regret that**. Anyway, they made it to Kaiba Corp., well a crossed from it at least.

"Hey Marik," Bakura grinned evilly, "Why don't you go first?"

"But there's a car coming."

"So?"

Bakura pushed Marik into the oncoming car. The car hit the yami then sped up and drove off, leaving the blond laying lifeless in the road.

"HIT AND RUN!" shrieked Atemu. Everyone stood there staring at the yami in shock.

"Marik?" asked Malik timidly. "Are you ok?"

Marik just got up and started singing.

"_Oh no not I! I will survive!_"

"Not again with the singing!" complained Bakura.

"Stop complaining or I'll make you sing again."

Bakura glared up at the Authoress.

"Why are you glaring up?" asked said Authoress. "I'm right over here."

They looked a crossed the street to see Laria standing there. They crossed over. Marik had to be dragged. He was afraid he would be hit again.

"You said you wouldn't be in this one!"

"I say a lot of things."

"Alright," Bakura said skeptically "But if you're here who's typing?"

"Oh I got Yani to do it," Laria shrugged. There was a flash of lightning followed by maniacal laughter.

"I don't think that was a good idea," Malik said fearfully.

**What! I will show you!** Malik started doing the lord of the dance... dance.

"Alright Yani, that's enough," said Laria, trying to hold off her laughing.

**Aw, stop ruining my fun!**

"Sorry but I had too."

**Why?**

"We're going to blow up Kaiba Corp. now"

Atemu, Bakura, and Marik grinned. There was another flash of lightning.

"You really like that lightning don't you?" Ryou asked looking up at Yani.

**No, there is a storm coming.**

"Ok you guys don't have much time," Laria said turning to the yamis, "I don't want to get wet."

The yamis saluted and ran into Kaiba Corp. The sky was completely dark with clouds when they came running out.

"RUN!" shouted Marik as they neared the group of hikari. Everyone ran back crossed the road. A car unfortunately hit Marik again. Once again, the car sped up and drove off.

"HEY THAT'S THE SAME CAR THAT HIT HIM LAST TIME!" Atemu yelled looking back at the car.

"Really?" Laria looked back as well.

"Man who ever is driving that car really hates you, Marik." Bakura snickered. Marik was lying in the road lifelessly.

"Ow..." Marik moaned. There was another flash of lightning, followed by a loud boom of thunder.

"Come on Mar—" Laria started, but then she was distracted by Kaiba Corp. which was now burning down. "Ooo! Look the purty colors!"

"Laria!" Bakura waved his hand in front of the Authoresses face. "Snap out of it!"

Laria blinked and regained her sanity... what she had left of it at least.

"Marik!" she screamed. "Get up now; if I get wet you're going to die!"

"But I'm a yami!" Marik said from the ground, "I can't die baka!"

"Trust me," Laria grinned evilly, "I'll find a way."

Marik quickly got up; he did not want to test it with Laria for lots of reasons. The biggest of the reasons was the fact that she was the Authoress.

"Where to now?" asked Yugi.

"Let's go to my house," said Laria, "It's closest."

Everyone went to the Kaiba Mansion. Good thing too, just as they stepped inside it down poured.

"Marik," Laria said in an eerie calmness, "You should be thanking Ra you got up when you did."

"Don't worry," Marik grumbled, "I am."

"MARIK!"

Everyone jumped and saw Yani run into the room and practically tackled Marik.

"Aishiteru Yani-chan," Marik said kissing her passionately.

"Love ya too, Marik-chan," Yani said kissing him back, running a hand under his shirt. Laria, and about everyone else, rolled her eyes.

"Get a room," Bakura teased.

"Come on," Yani said breaking the kiss, "Let's go up to my room."

Marik grinned and allowed himself to be drug up stairs and to her room. There was a collection of sweat drops from the group.

"It's really coming down out there." Ryou said glancing out the window. While they were all looking out the window, Seto came down from upstairs and headed toward the door.

"Uh..." Laria looked over at her twin, "Where are you going?"

"Well since Yani and Marik are here, and so are your other friends," Seto said, "I decided to go to Kaiba Corp."

"NO!"

"YOU CAN'T!" Laria said blocking the door.

"And why can't I go to my own company?" Seto asked raising an eyebrow at his sister.

"Because uh..." Laria looked around nervously, "It's raining! You don't want to get wet do you?"

"If it means getting out of this house, then, yes," Seto said reaching towards the doorknob.

"But don't you want to spend the afternoon with your sweet, loving, nice sister?" Laria said grabbing Seto's arm and turning him away from the door.

"Ok, what did you do this time?"

"She burned down Kaiba Corp." Bakura blurted out.

"BAKURA!"

"LAR!"

"IT WAS ATEMU, MARIK, AND BAKURA! I JUST TOLD THEM TO!"

Seto glared at Laria, Atemu and Bakura.

"You can just build a new building..." Laria grinned apprehensively, "Right?"

"I didn't burn it down; I'm not building a new one!" Seto yelled, "YOU FOUR WILL DO IT!"

"We have to build Kaiba Corp. again..." Atemu said, "With four people..."

"Yup!"

"That will take us forever!" Bakura protested.

"I guess you should get started," said Seto.

"But it's raining!" exclaimed Laria.

"I'm not building in the rain!"

"What if it rains forty days and forty nights?" said Atemu, "We should build an ark first! And get three of every animal!"

"Three?" asked Yugi.

"_Three is a magic number_," sang Atemu, "_Yes it is, it's a magic number_."

"No singing!" complained Bakura

"_Looked out my window and what did I see_," Malik sang, "_Popcorn popping on the apricot tree._"

"STOP!"

**---Ohhh! I can sense you Kaiba-boy, and when you get here I'm going to Spice Up Your Life!---**


	4. Bakura's Gone Crazy!

**Chapter Four:**

**Bakura's Gone Crazy**

Last time on Random Events: A car hit Marik, Kaiba Corp. burned down, and people are still singing.

After it stopped raining, everyone gathered at Kaiba Corp... or what was left of it.

"Alright you four," Seto pointed at Laria, Marik, Bakura, and Atemu, "Get to work!"

"I still don't understand why we have to do it?" Laria grumbled.

"Yeah," Bakura agreed, "Can't you get your workers to do it?"

"No," Seto said, "You destroy it, you rebuild it."

"You can't tell me what to do!" exclaimed Atemu, "I am the Pharaoh!"

"You WERE Pharaoh," Marik corrected. Atemu glared at the blond.

"Come on girls, lets go," said Seto.

"GIRLS?" Bakura exclaimed, "You'll pay for that mortal!"

Bakura ran at Seto, who moved out of the way, leaving Bakura to run head long into what was left of Kaiba Corp. knocking it down.

"_And the walls come tumbling down_," sang Ryou, "_And the walls come crumbling, crumblin', and the walls come tumbling tumblin', crumbling tumblin' down_."

"Medic" Bakura sat up a little dazed before lying back down holding his head.

_Meanwhile..._

While everyone was bothering over Bakura, a news crew had arrived. The anchorman, Andrew Yani, stood in front of a camera holding a microphone.

"I am right out side Kaiba Corp., earlier today it burned down, but not completely." Andrew Yani reported, "Right now it has been knocked down by that long haired teen."

Andrew Yani pointed over at Bakura.

"Uh..." Malik blinked at the reporter. "Laria, do you know who that is?"

"Yeah, that's Andrew Yani," Laria said casually.

"Wait!" Yani exclaimed, "What do you mean Andrew _Yani_!"

Andrew Yani and his camera crew walked over to the group.

"Hello, I'm Andrew Yani from Channel One News. I'm here reporting on the recent Kaiba Corp. incident."

"How'd YOU find out about it?" asked Seto.

"We know all!"

"Ok," Seto turned to the yamis and Laria, "And why haven't you started yet!"

"They've done more damage to it then they've fixed it." Yugi commented.

"Hey Kaiba, look over there!" Laria exclaimed pointing in some random direction. Seto turned to look at it.

"What?" Seto paused and sweat dropped, "They're gone aren't they?"

Andrew Yani watched Laria, Bakura, Marik, and Atemu run off.

"Yeah..." Andrew Yani watched Ryou, Yugi, Yani, and Malik run after them.

"Gaaa!" Seto growled with an eye twitch. Andrew Yani puts the microphone in Seto's face.

"So how do you feel about the loss of your company?"

Meanwhile with Laria and everyone, Laria stopped outside Malik's house.

"Malik, you have a computer right?"

"Why?"

"I need to get back to writing."

"Ok, you can use it."

"Thanks owe you one." Laria said running inside.

"_I see the stone set in your eyes_," Ryou sang spontaneously, "_See the thorn twist in your side, I'll wait for you, Slight of hand and twist of fate, On a bed of nails she makes me wait, and I wait without you, With or without you, with or with—_"

"Alright! That's enough!" Bakura screamed, the Millennium Ring gleamed brightly and Ryou was sent to the Shadow Realm.

"Oh, Laria's not going to like that." Yugi said timidly.

"And why not?" Bakura glared.

"Well Ryou is her favorite character." Malik said.

"For another thing you did it without her permission," added Yugi.

"Aw shit."

**Hey, I am back to writing and... Wait? Where is Ryou?**

"Uhh..." Bakura said with shifty eyes.

"Bakura sent him to the Shadow Realm," said Marik.

**You sent my Ryou-koi to the Shadow Realm!**

"I couldn't take the singing anymore!"

"YAMIS!"

"Ahhh! It's Kaiba!"

"RUN!"

So the yamis ran... Until they passed a candy store.

"_I want candy!_" Atemu sang.

"NO!"

Bakura sent Atemu to the Shadow Realm.

"I'm standing outside this candy store where a psychotic Grave Robber has just sent the Pharaoh to another dimension known as the Shadow Realm," reported Andrew Yani.

"What are you doing here?" asked Bakura.

"Kaiba got away from me so I found a new story."

"Isn't there anything else you can report on?" asked Marik "Death, destruction and the rainforest..."

Marik glanced over at Bakura.

"...Man-eating Bugs?"

"But there isn't any of—" Andrew Yani blinked, "Wait, Man-eating Bugs?"

Andrew Yani looked confused as Bakura took a card out of his deck and held it up.

"Easy prey for my Man-eata' Bug!" Bakura exclaimed. The monster appeared then looked from Bakura to Andrew Yani. Andrew Yani screamed and ran off, the bug chasing after him. "Hehehe never gets old."

"BAKURA!"

Seto tackled Bakura to the ground and they started fighting.

---(--)---

Off in some odd part of the story:

"And now its time for silly songs with Roba," Mokuba announced, "The part of the story where Espa Roba comes out and sings... a silly song."

"The Water Buffalo Song," said Rex.

"_Everybody's got a water buffalo_," sang Espa "_yours is fast but mine is slow, where'd we get them I don't know, but everybody's got a water buffalo ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Took my buffalo to the store, got its head stuck in the door, spilled some lima beans on the floor, oh everybody's got a—_"

"Stop, stop, stop!" Bakura growled appearing out of thin air. "You can not say that everybody's got a water buffalo when everybody does not have a water buffalo, we'll be getting nasty letters saying '_where's my water buffalo?_', '_why don't I have a water buffalo?_' and are you prepared to deal with that, I didn't think so! So stop being so... silly!"

With that, Bakura sent Espa Roba to the Shadow Realm. Rex and Mokuba stood there shocked.

"Join us next time for silly songs with..." Mokuba looked around, "Rex... when he'll sing..."

"_Everybody's got a baby kangaroo, yours is pink but mine is blue, hers was small but then—_"

Bakura growled more and sent both Rex and Mokuba to the Shadow Realm.

Back in the main part of the story:

Bakura stood up and dusted himself off. Seto was no were to be seen. Marik stared at Bakura for about a minute then ran off.

"BAKURASGONECRAZY!" Marik screamed loudly running though the streets of Domino, "HESSENDINGEVERYONETOTHESHADOWREALM! NOONEISSAFEFROMHISWRATH! SOMEBODYHELPMEIWANTMYMOMMY!"

Marik ran by the lights, shortly followed by Andrew Yani still being chased by the Man-eater Bug.

"I'm here in Domino City being chased by a Duel Monster." Andrew Yani reported, even though he no longer had his microphone or camera crew, "Yes! You heard me! A Duel Monster! Get me out of here!"

Men in white coats appeared out of nowhere and grab Andrew Yani. The Man-eater Bug disappeared. The Men in white coats drag Andrew Yani away, laughing.

"Well that's something you don't see everyday," Malik said.

"What? A Channel One News anchor being chased by a Duel Monster then being dragged off to the Funny Farm?" asked Yugi.

"No, my yami."

"Oh," Yugi looked around, "Wait, where's my yami?"

"He's in the Shadow Realm," Bakura laughed walking up the two lights.

"You sent my yami to the Shadow Realm!" Yugi exclaimed, "How could you!"

Yugi glared at Bakura and sent HIM to the Shadow Realm.

"Wow," Malik took a step away from Yugi, "I didn't know you could do that."

"Neither did I."

"So, want to go find my yami?"

"Ok."

They head off to find the only yami left in this dimension, beside Yani who is here with me.

**---Attention Duelist!---**


	5. In The Shadow Realm

**--- Hm... I'm not entirely sure why it's been OVER A YEAR since this was updated. Especially considering I have to chapter eight just chilling on Maccy. **

**This year somehow really got away from me, and I received a false memory implant that I had already finished uploading all of this. **

**Boy was I wrong.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Yugioh, or any of the songs in here. ---**

**Chapter Five:  
In the Shadow Realm**

**Last time on Random Events:**_ Seto sent them to fix Kaiba Corp., Bakura sent them to the Shadow Realm, and they sent Andrew Yani to the Funny Farm._

Yugi and Malik's search for Marik lead them back to the park, where they found the yami hiding in a bush.

"Hey Marik," called Yugi, "Bakura's gone!"

"Really?" Marik asked timidly coming out of his hiding spot.

"Yeah," said Malik, "Yugi sent him to the Shadow Realm."

"How?"

Yugi and Malik shrugged.

"Does this mean we're the only three left?" asked Malik.

"Looks like it," said Marik.

"Let's go home then." Malik said to his darker, and much more psychotic, half.

"Can I come with you?" asked Yugi, not wanting to be left alone in the clutches of the Authoress.

"Why not?"

So they went to Malik's house, where Laria and Yani were.

"Laria," Yugi whined, "We're bored again."

"I know," sighed the Authoress, "It's hard to write a story with only three people and_—_"

"Oh, nice bruise there," Malik interrupted poking the black and blue mark on Laria's upper arm.

"OWW!" Laria exclaimed covering up the bruise with one hand, "Didn't anyone teach you not to poke other people's bruises! Baka!"

"Sorry!"

"That looks painful," Yugi said examining it, "How'd you get it?"

"Marik threw a piece of ice at me."

"Oh, I remember that now," Marik chuckled.

"Ice did that to you!"

"Yup," Laria grinned, "I also got bruises on my leg and side."

Laria showed them off.

"Where'd you get those?"

"Either fighting with Marik," Laria mused, "Or I beat myself up in my sleep."

"Oh."

Laria abruptly punched Malik in the arm.

"Oww!" Malik cowered, "What was that for!"

"Come tell me when you get a bruise so I can poke it," said Laria.

"Ok," whimpered Malik.

"Good," Laria said with an evil grin.

"Well that's all well and good but," Yugi took a deep breath and yelled: "WE'RE STILL BORED!"

Yani glared at Yugi.

"Well maybe if you hadn't sent my Baku-koi to the Shadow Realm_—_"

"If he hadn't sent Bakura to the Shadow Realm we'd all be there!" Yugi interjected.

"At least there'd be more people to work with," sighed Laria.

"Is that all you think about?"

"Yes," growled Laria, "I care about pleasing my fans."

"Ow, ow, ow..." Malik whimpered again.

"I can't work with you guys anymore," Laria rolled her eyes. "I'm going to the Shadow Realm."

---(--)---

_In the Shadow Realm..._

Atemu and Ryou were dueling.

"I activate Dust Tornado and your Ouija Board!" said Atemu.

"No! My DEATH messages!" exclaimed Ryou.

"Now Dark Magician!" cried Atemu, "Attack!"

"_I'm always one card short_," Ryou sang as the Shadow Game disappeared because he had lost, "_Always one day late, for once I'd like an ending I could celebrate_."

"The only reason I sent you guys here is so I didn't have to listen to those stupid songs," Bakura grumbled.

"Shouldn't have pissed off my light then," Atemu said smugly.

"How was I supposed to know the runt could send me to the Shadow Realm!?" Bakura yelled, "Damn him."

Ryou, Atemu and Seto snickered. Bakura glared at them growling.

"'Kura!" Yani appeared out of nowhere pulling the white haired spirit into a tight hug.

"Ack!" Bakura gasped having been caught off guard "How the hell did you get here?"

"We're the Authoresses we can do anything we want," Laria grinned evilly also appearing out of nowhere. "Remember?"

"I remember." Ryou said unenthusiastically, recalling a certain embarrassing cross dressing incident the Authoress had pulled off.

"So where's everyone else?" Seto asked.

"Well there were only three left and they're in the real world..."

---(--)---

_In the real world..._

Yugi, Malik and Marik were sitting around.

"Why couldn't she take us with her?" Malik asked staring up at the ceiling out of boredom.

"Because she's mean, evil, iniquitous, wicked, unfair, unjust, unfeeling, merciless, pitiless, cruel, spiteful, vindictive, bitter, hurtful, insensitive, thoughtless, selfish, egotistical, self-centered, and heartless." Yugi sighed.

"You could have just saved your breath and said she's a Kaiba," said Malik.

"True."

"I miss my 'Kura lover!" Marik said cantankerously.

"I thought Yani was you're lover." Yugi said confused.

"Bakura's his other lover" Malik clarified.

Yugi blinked.

"Ewww…"

---(--)---

_Back in the Shadow Realm..._

"So, Laria, friend, pal," Bakura placed an arm around the Authoresses shoulders, "Can you get us out?"

"Yes," Laria said picking Bakura's arm off her shoulder, "But why would I?"

"Pweez Lar," Seto begged giving his sister big puppy dog eyes.

"Arg," Yani made a face, "That's sickening."

"Yeah, I know," Laria smacked Seto in the back of the head with her Notebook. "Stop it Kaiba."

"Fine," Seto pouted, rubbing the back of his head.

"_Hephalumps and wozles are very confuzles,_" Atemu sang spontaneously "_hephalumps and wozles very sly sly sly sly, they come in one or twozles and if they so choozles, before your eyes you'll see them multiply_"

Bakura growled and threw the Millennium Eye at Atemu, hitting him square in the forehead. Atemu fell over instantly knocked out.

"See Bakura," Laria scolded, "That's why I'm not letting you out of the Shadow Realm."

Bakura grumbled and went off the sit in some random part of the Shadow Realm.

"Pansy." Atemu said, getting up off the ground, shaking his head at the Tomb Robber.

"I heard that Pharaoh!" Bakura yelled back to them.

"Would have been wasted if you didn't!"

Bakura grumbled some more.

"Hikari, can we go home now?" Yani asked, "I don't like the Shadow Realm."

"Alright."

Yani and Laria disappeared.

---(--)---

_In the real world..._

Yani and Laria appear.

"Welcome back." Malik said tearing his eyes away from the ceiling for once.

"Where's my 'Kura-koi?" Marik asked irritably.

"Oh fine!" Laria snapped her fingers and Bakura appeared.

"'KURA!" Marik exclaimed jumping up and grabbing Bakura's arm.

"What I wasn't even gone an hour."

"So?"

Marik dragged Bakura off to his room followed by Yani.

"Ok you guys have to take a break now," Laria said turning to the only two left.

"What about the others?" asked Yugi.

"Oh they're safe now that Bakura's gone." Laria said, "And anyways I have to practice my Sax."

"_Be kind to your web-footed friends._" Sang Malik, "_For a duck may mother, be kind to your friends from the swamp! Or where ever it is damp-_"

"Oh be quiet," Laria sighed, "I haven't killed a duck since 6th grade, five years ago!"

"Poor ducks," Malik pouted.

"Well, see ya," Laria said as she left the Ishtar house, Malik singing after her.

"_Dun dun dun another one bites the dust, dun dun dun another one bites the dust..._"

**--- Anime Milhouse is a jerk! ---**


	6. Laria the Duck Killer

**Chapter Six:  
Laria the Duck Killer**

**Last time on Random Events:** _A notebook hit Seto, a Millennium Item hit Atemu, and the Authoress was hit by a sudden urge to practice._

Malik and Yugi slumped down into chairs, they were the only two left. Malik grinned evilly and took out his Millennium Rod

"Uhh... Malik," Yugi said cautiously, "What are you going to do with that?"

"I don't know," Malik frowned, "I can't think of anything to do."

At that moment, there was a scream of pleasure, along with some other, uh... weird noises coming from Marik's room.

"Ok, I really don't want to stay here anymore." Malik said with a disgusted look on his face.

"Yeah," Yugi looked equally disgusted, "Let's go to Laria's."

"And listen to her play!" Malik exclaimed.

"Oh come on," Yugi rolled his eyes; "She can't be that bad."

They heard a loud quack and looked out the window to see a duck fall dead from the sky.

"See!" Malik pointed, "She killed that duck!"

"I highly doubt that."

Another duck died.

"That's it!" Malik stood up, "I'm going over there."

Malik stormed off to save the endangered duck population. Yugi sighed and followed Malik, only to be hit in the head by a dead duck. They made it the rest of the way to the Kaiba Mansion with out seeing any more dead ducks. Malik walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. Ryou answered.

"Hello guys," Ryou smiled.

"Weren't you in the Shadow Realm?" asked Yugi.

"I was," answered Ryou, "But Laria wanted some one to help her practice."

"See," Malik crossed his arms over his chest glaring at Yugi.

"Alright I believe you," Yugi sighed, "She killed them."

"Killed who?"

In the background, they could hear "_In the Mood_" on an Alto Saxophone. Yet another duck fell dead at Ryou's feet. Malik glared even more.

"_The ducks..._" Malik sneered.

The music stopped and the Authoress came to the door, the Sax hanging from her by the neck strap.

"Ryou?" Laria stuck her head out the doorway, "Who is it?"

"Laria," Malik growled at the Authoress. "You're killing ducks again."

"It's not me," Laria protested pointing to the Alto Sax, "It was Joe."

"You named your instrument?"

"You've killed ducks before?"

"Yes, and I haven't killed anything since the 6th grade" Laria muttered.

"Ooo, tell us the story." said Yugi.

"Do I have to tell you the story?" Laria groaned.

"You could always flashback," offered Malik, "Those are fun."

"Flashback it is..."

---(--)---

_Flashback..._

The 6th grade band was practicing "_Sleigh Ride_" for the Christmas concert. It was sounding beautiful, excellent sound from the flutes and clarinets. Then the sax's come in... _Honk!_ Mrs. Sarno, the director, cut off.

"Ok right now we are on a peaceful sleigh ride," Mrs. Sarno described to the band members. "Going down the road, but then we have a family of ducks crossing the road, and we're just going along, and then we hit the family ducks, and that's exactly what it sounds like."

At about that moment, Mrs. Sarno, and most the band looks right at Laria. Malik, who played flute, turned around to look at the future Authoress.

"Laria, stop killing the ducks!"

_End Flashback_

---(--)---

"And that was five years ago Malik," Laria pointed, "I think its time you let it go."

Laria then commenced to play the "_Polka_" and a duck fell dead right on Malik.

"Ow," Malik rubbed his head, "Watch where you're killing."

Laria just laughed and went to put Joe away. Ryou, Malik, and Yugi followed her inside.

"You know what I just realized," Yugi said as Laria closed her instrument case.

"What?"

"Only the lights are left."

"Hey the midgets right for once," Malik said. Yugi glared at the blonde.

"Hey, he's right!" Laria said grinning, "You know what that means."

"I'm afraid to know," Malik whimpered.

"It's time to bring everyone back from the Shadow Realm." Laria said excitedly.

"Joy..." Malik said unenthusiastically. Laria just grinned more and snapped her fingers. Seto, Mokuba, Espa Roba, Rex, and any one else I forgot, except Atemu, appeared.

"Oh thank you Lar!" Seto exclaimed, happy to be back in the real world, and not in the techless Shadow Realm.

"Why'd I get sent to the Shadow Realm?" Mokuba asked, "I haven't sung anything yet."

"...Yet..."

"You wouldn't," Mokuba said fearfully, "I'm your brother."

"Don't care." Laria grinned evilly and snapped her fingers.

"_Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal!_" Sang Seto "_Darling lets go to Mejier, baby my hearts on fire! If you refuse me, honey you lose me, then you'll be left alone oh baby call me and tell me I'm your own!_"

"Thank Ra" Mokuba sighed as Seto finished his song.

"Damn!" Laria looked at her fingers, "Wrong brother!"

"Laria," Ryou said calmly to the angered Authoress, "Those weren't the right words."

"So?"

"I'll get it," Espa Roba said walking over to the door just as the door bell rang, followed by "Marik you idiot, Yani lives here!"

Marik, Yani and Bakura walked in.

"But I thought you weren't psycho." Malik said confused.

"Psychic!"

"Potato, Potahto"

"Anyways I'm not," Espa Roba said irritably "I saw them coming from_—_"

"The Shadow Realm?" Yani interrupted.

"No..." Espa Roba raising an eyebrow to the strange co-Authoress yami "The window..."

"Oh"

Yugi looked around at everyone when he realized something for the second time this chapter.

"Wait a second, where's my yami?"

---(--)---

_In the Shadow Realm..._

Atemu was lying around somewhere in the endless abyss of darkness... singing...

"_Nobody knows the trouble I've seen... Nobody knows my sorrow... Nobody—_"

---(--)---

_The real world..._

"I guess he's still in the Shadow Realm." Laria shrugged.

"What!?"

**---Into the Kaiba-cave!---**


End file.
